Running support groups and seminars with separated or divorcing individuals, has been wonderful, on so many levels. It is really fulfilling to see people work through the stages of loss, and acknowledge some shared responsibility. Often working through the anger and other building blocks, allows them to be better partners moving forward.
What is the coolest thing?
Every so often, I see someone remember their best qualities, reclaim those, and begin to work on those items they need to improve. Without even knowing it (at first), they are more attractive to every one they meet, including their ex! Some of those couples reunite and have the potential for long and happy connections.
What else?
Couples who really look out for their children, through this trauma. I’m happy to offer up some healthy solutions, on how to keep the kids from being torn apart at this uncoupling.
What is confusing to you, who is considered an expert?
There are so many conflicting theories on why divorce happens, and what makes a successful long term relationship. Some of the experts from ten or twenty year ago, did not have to account for all the time sucks, we now have in our daily lives, whether zoning out on Facebook, or being tethered to the office by text and email.
Why are you so passionate about intimacy?
Many times, in the beginning of your relationship, and averaging the first eighteen months, passion is strongest, and that can both enhance your relationship, and mask any difficulties. Make sure you are intimate on every level, and touch each others lives many times in many ways, on a daily basis.